Day: April 29, 2009
Aggressive Fitness
One day, Joe decided that he had to get in shape if it killed him. He was 100 pounds overweight, and really wanted to get those pounds off.
So he went to his local gym. They had three weight loss plans: one guaranteed a ten pound weight loss in one week. The other guaranteed twenty. The other fifty.
Being conservative, Joe signed up for the ten pound plan.
The next day, Joe answered his door to find a scantily-clad hot babe wearing a sign: “If you catch me, I’m yours!”
Joe took off after her. It was tough work, but he caught her and really had a good time afterward. Sure enough, after a week of this, he had lost 15 pounds, exceeding the 10 pound guarantee.
So Joe decided to get ambitious, and signed up for the 20-pound plan.
The next day, Joe answered his door to find a naked gal–even hotter than the gal he chased last week–wearing nothing but a sign that said, “If you catch me, I’m yours!”
Joe took off after her. The run was tougher–she was very fast–but he caught her and had a fabulous time afterward. Sure enough, after a week of this, he had lost 30 pounds, exceeding the 20 pound guarantee.
Joe hadn’t felt this good in years!
So, noticing that he had lost 45 pounds so far, Joe decided that if he enrolled in the 50-pound plan, he would finally be in shape. He decided to go for the gusto: the 50-pound plan.
The gym manager tried to talk him out of it. “Joe, dude…just do the 20-pound plan a few more times. It’s loads more fun. The 50-pound plan is a monster!”
But Joe was determined. He insisted on the 50-pound plan.
The next day, Joe answered his door enthusiastically, thinking this would be a dream week.
It was Perez Hilton, wearing nothing but a smile and a sign that said, “If I catch you, you’re mine!”
Good Riddance to Specter
As a former Pennsylvania native, all I can say is good riddance to Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA). Faced with the specter of a primary disaster against Club for Growth President Pat Toomey, Specter decided to switch to the Democratic Party.
This is not unlike a move made by Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I-CT). The former Democrat–in hot water for his support of the war in Iraq–switched to Independent, as he had lost the nomination to Ned Lamont. Enough Democrats and Republicans got behind Lieberman to put him back into the Senate.
Specter is effectively doing the same thing.
While much is being said about how this is going to give the Democrats a filibuster-proof majority, the dirty little secret is they already had that. Specter is only switching to the party he has effectively supported for nearly 30 years.
Specter’s greatest accomplishments for the GOP?
- During the Bork hearings, he stuck his nose up Joseph Biden’s butt, sabotaging what was probably one of the most qualified Court nominees in the previous 25 years.
- He supported the “Gang of 14”, effectively undermining Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist and sabotaging many solid court picks by Bush.
- He supported the original bailout plan.
- He waffled on the stimulus plan, teaming up with two other RINOs Olympia Snowe (R-ME) and Susan Collins (R-ME) to join the spending orgy.
Specter’s support of Obamanomics effectively told the rest of the conservative faithful that his days as a Republican–already questionable–were pretty much over. While many conservative pundits may be up in arms about this, it will be a blessing in disguise.
This is because the Democrats will own the outcome of the Obama years, for better or worse. There will be no excuses for them.
They control both executive and legislative branches of government; as a result, they also control the judicial branch. Supreme Court appointments will be done deals.
They control the banking system. They control the automotive industry. They control two of the three fundamental economic factors of production–land and capital.
They have the capacity to spend as they wish, without Republican interference. They have the capacity to deploy–or redeploy–troops as they wish, without Republican interference. They have the ability to create money, without Republican interference.
The real issue is whether the Republicans will be able to recapture conservatism and win the American people over. I’m doubtful.
Let’s face the hard truth: Sarah Palin, as genuine as she is, is useless. Someone who enters the public fray, cannot speak intelligently on matters of economics and foreign policy, and blames the media for their coverage, is not ready for the Big Time. She was no Geraldine Ferraro–which is a good thing–but she was hardly Ronald Reagan with better looks either.
Other “hopefuls”–such as Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)–have also proven disappointing. Jindal, a former policy wonk, is smart enough, but whether he has the conservatism to boot remains to be seen.
Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R-MN) can talk a nice talk, but he is an inside-the-box type. He is hardly a standard-bearer.
Gov. Haley Barbour (R-MS) is a real conservative, but seems disinterested in pursuing national office.
Ron Paul (R-TX) is the only one talking any sense on fiscal and monetary issues–he may be the only one in the legislative branch who understands either one–but the GOP doesn’t want to listen.
Other GOP leaders–such as John Cornyn (R-TX) and Tom Coburn (R-OK)–have yet to make a national case for their leadership.
As for Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), he is worse than useless.
This is shaping up to be another replay of the 1930s. And now, just as then, the GOP is showing themselves incapable of making the case for Constitutional government.
Back then, they failed because (a) they were facing an uphill battle against the patronage effects of the New Deal, and (b) once World War II broke out, FDR was going nowhere.
Today, the GOP is failing because they are trying to market themselves as softer socialists than the Democrats. Effectively, there is little difference.
They oppose the Democrats on a few social issues, and differ with them–only in scope–on spending.
At the end of the day, neither party believes in Constitutional government.