13 Signs He’s Dating a Loser

Simcha Whitehill, writing for The Frisky, provides this. My comments are included:

As you Frisky readers know, I’ve had a bumpy ride as a single gal. Unfortunately, it was a stroll down memory lane to share with you the 12 signs the man you’re dating is a loser. But that doesn’t mean a girl can’t be a dud, too! Case in point? “Megan Wants a Millionaire.” For all you Frisky guy readers, check out my 13 signs that you may be dating a loser! Then, lose her.

1. Baby, I’m Yours: She wants to have kids so she can stop working and mooch off you. Now who’s the child?

While most conservative men–like myself–want the SAHM, we absolutely abhor the one who cops the attitude that says, “I want to be married so I can stay home and sit on my butt and eat while you work and pay off all the debts I racked up as a single.”

2. She Needs To Do Everything With You: It’s one thing to share experiences, but it’s another thing to need someone to hold your hand all the time. When it goes beyond wanting to spending time together to demanding it constantly, you have to wonder, what’s her problem?

When I lived in Indiana, I had a relationship end very badly on this. She was extraordinarily possessive, wanting to account for almost the nanosecond of where I spent my time.

Guys will view this as a telltale sign of profound instability. Most of the time, that assessment is correct.

3. Party Pooper: She’s mopey when you’re not giving her 100 percent of your attention. When you start having fun, she’s wants to leave.

Never had that happen to me.

4. Sex As A Weapon: Putting out is the bartering chip she’s been using since her school days, but it’s a cheap ploy. A clever woman who respects herself doesn’t have to abuse her sexual power.

If she’s doing that within the marriage, then she’s not comporting herself according to Biblical standards. In fact, Paul admonishes husbands and wives to be accommodating to each other in this department.

We can haggle over the premise that both should be considerate of each other–and there will be no disagreement–but husbands and wives need to be predisposed to putting out for each other.

If a man is having sex in this situation–which is dating/courtship and not marriage–them he has only himself to blame. If he shows flagrant disregard for the covenant act with her, then why should he be so incredulous that his girlfriend returns the favor?

5. Dirty-Flirty Double Standard: She flirts with dudes in front of you, shamelessly. Then, she gets super mad and makes a scene if you so much as give a cute waitress your order.

If she’s flirting with dudes in front of me, there’s a special title for her: EX.

6. High-Maintenance Ho: She’s constantly complaining and barking orders. Everyone around her rolls their eyes at her demands. Why doesn’t she get off her duff and do it herself?

What part of Ephesians 5 does she not understand?

7. Friend Indeed: She forces you to show off to her lady friends with grand displays of obedience, love, and virility. But she never wants to hang out with you and your best bros. Why is it she expects people to thinks she’s impressive when she never does anything to impress them?

I’ve not experienced this myself, but I would not be surprised, as men often parade a “trophy wife”. Both would be wrong to do this.

8. Parent Trap: She blames her life’s problems on her parents, yet she depends on them, a lot.

Someone who is always complaining about her parents, will almost certainly become like them. The Biblical imperative–honor your father and mother–is still in play, and it is not contingent on them fulfilling their roles to your satisfaction. Nor is their honor contingent on them fulfilling the commands of Scripture.

After all, when you are a parent, you are going to want your kids to honor you, even though you will at times fall short of the glory.

9. Social Climber: She’s always looking for someone richer to kiss up to. When it comes to making new friends, she’s a total snob.

If a man gives a gal like this more than one date, then he has no room to complain.

10. Beauty Is Only Skin Deep: She thinks she should be famous, but she hasn’t done anything to warrant admiration besides look pretty.

See answer to #9.

11. Eau De Desperation: She reeks of needing a man, and she will stop at nothing to bag one. When she’s single, her female friends even feel like they have to hide their boyfriends for fear she will try to pounce.

See answer top #10.

12. One-Way Street: You’re constantly doing things for her, but, as Janet Jackson would put it, “What have you done for me lately?” If she’s going to act like a princess, why doesn’t she treat you like the prince of a gentleman you are?

See answer to #11.

13. Go Fish: She’s always looking for compliments. You have to constantly reassure her that she’s amazing, but her response always seems to say: “I know.”

See answer to #12.

Boundless: More on Early Marriage

Yeseterday, Steve Watters wrote a small blurb about Dr. Norvall Glenn, and his analysis regarding marriage in America. Glenn concludes (emphasis mine):

The findings of this study do indicate that for most persons, little or nothing in the way of marital success is likely to be gained by deliberately delaying marriage beyond the mid twenties. For instance, a 25 year old person who meets an excellent marriage prospect would be ill-advised to pass up that opportunity only because he/she feels not yet at the ideal age for marriage. Furthermore, delaying marriage beyond the mid twenties will lead to the loss during a portion of young adulthood of any emotional and health benefits that a good marriage would bring (Waite and Gallagher, 2000). On the other hand, it is extremely important to stress that the findings of this study should not lead anyone of any age to panic and thus make a bad choice of a spouse.

While I’m all for earlier marriage–I would have been married long ago, but the breaks just are what they are–I must consider some items that Glenn mentioned in his conclusion:

(1) Who are these peple who are 25, and are passing on marriage “only because he/she feels not yet at the ideal age for marriage”? I have yet to meet anyone, 25 or older, who meets a marriageable mate and refuses to marry “only because he/she feels not yet at the ideal age for marriage”? Is this a rhetorical remark, or is it grounded in any empirical study?

(2) There is substantial case that discredits the premise that marriage is a guarantor of emotional and health benefits over singleness. In fact, most couples I know–with few exceptions–gain, not lose, weight when they marry.

(3) However, when Glenn says, “the findings of this study should not lead anyone of any age to panic and thus make a bad choice of a spouse”, he’s hitting on a mindset that men and women both have today: not getting married is better than a getting into a bad marriage.

There is more risk-aversion being practiced, and that is itself quite rational. Divorce rates–while overstated–are higher than they were 50 years ago. Tyagi and Warren–in The Two-Income Trap–point out that women are still just as bad off after a divorce as they were before, and men are worse off than they were.

Clearly, the risks have gone up while the rewards have proven more nebulous.

If I were not a Christian, I would have no compelling reason to marry. After all, absent an imperative from God, I could have all the sex I want, sans responsibility. The tax advantages of cohabitation exceed those of marrying. As long as there are no kids involved, I can get the benefits of marriage without formally marrying. Contrasting this, if I marry, I take the risk of a woman hijacking the relationship, using sex to control me, destroying me financially, and dragging me to divorce court. There is a legitimate empirical contention that marriage provides no compelling benefit to me, that would otherwise make me want to marry. As that great philosopher, Tina Turner, once said, “What’s love got to do with it?”

Ergo, the only strong, compelling case for marriage is a Christian one. And yet, the Church must be careful not to sell marriage by promoting benefits, as those are dubious. They can only promote marriage in terms of covenant. And only when the Church demonstrates their collective willingness to honor that covenant for better or worse–thereby reflecting God’s covenant commitment to redeeming His people for better or worse–will we see a resurgence of marriage.

Unfortunately, when you have bloviators like Al Mohler–who aren’t in touch with what goes on in their own churches*, and yet speak as if they represent the Church–the message from the Church is not a credible one.

*If he DOES have a clue what goes on at Highview Baptist Church, then he needs to either (a) put his money where his mouth is and call every single male over 25 in the singles ministry, to don sackloth and ashes, or (b) admit that the issue of protracted singleness is more complex than the pat answers he has given on the matter, and call on his leaders to seek a more equitable framework that is conducive to earlier marriage, while steering clear of making it a mandate.

Chappaquiddick Ted Has Died

The next week shall include lots of media ejaculations of what a great advocate he was.

In reality, he was a murderer and a thief. He evaded justice for his crimes–which include murder–by wielding the influence of his family name, a family the fortune of which was rooted in organized crime.

As a Senator, he was a champion for killing babies with tax money, and stealing tax money from hardworking Americans, to pay for others to take a free ride.

Still, I don’t wish his fate on anyone. Not even Ted Kennedy. Brain cancer is not a good way to go.