Reading SBTS President Al Mohler’s review of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, I found myself also impressed–and saddened–at the same time. Amy Chua is not unlike other Chinese I know–one of whom (MP) is a former boss of mine. MP and I had our differences, but we all admired her work ethic. We loved her personally, even if she rubbed us the wrong way at times. I had a tennis teammate in high school–HP–who, over one summer, went from being a doubles player to being the top singles player on the team. He was also a straight-A student. (I did, however, beat him consistently in wrestling. Yay for me.)
The Chinese families I know here are very high achievers, and very hard workers. Christian and secular alike, there is a lot to be learned from them.
As for Mohler’s commentary, he was obviously correct, but–in my estimation–he missed a very big issue: while he was right about Chua, there are “Christian” parents who are as secular and materialistic as Chua.
Oh, they may not be as hardcore as Chua–although some are–but they are every bit as secular in their academic aspirations for their children and their understanding of what constitutes “success”. How many Christian parents would encourage a child who expresses the desire to be a missionary in a dangerous area like Libya, Afghanistan, or Detroit? How many Christian parents would encourage a child who expresses the desire to be a bivocational minister in a rural locale? How many Christian parents would approve their daughter eschewing the legal profession in favor of being a full-time SAHM homeschooler?
One of the things that made me sick at Southern Seminary was the folks who sneered about Mohler’s wife, who gave up the aspiration of the professional life to be a full-time wife and mom. To the feministas, she was a betrayal to their cause. Many of the MWNBs went along with those feministas. Those MWNBs? Many of them went on to be pastors at “conservative evangelical” churches.
(Does that just fill you with great confidence in the pastoral counsel you’re likely to receive?)
What I’ve learned since then: one does not have to be a feminist to buy into that materialism. I’ve seen no small number of conservative Christian parents do exactly that.
They may not all be like the Tiger Mother, but that is just because they are lukewarm about it whereas Chua–the Genuine Article–really walks the talk.
Choices, Choices, Choices
Have you ever studied the kings in the Old Testament? It’s been awhile, but one lesson I learned studying them over time continues to resonate in the very depths of my soul. There were some kings who lived their whole lives honoring God, but then at the end, they caved into sin.
I ponder on that often. One would think living a life honoring God would give one strength to finish the race in the same stride. But the choices in our past do not over rule our choices for today.
A dear friend of mine has stood by her husband through some very treacherous years. He made a few bad choices years ago that had tsunami affects not just in his life, but hers, their son’s, their families, and their friends as well, for many, many years. The price for his sin was high. They have all paid that price. But she has stuck with him, stood by him, honored God with her choices, honored God with their son. And today, they get to begin a new life!
There were a few times she privately inquired about divorce, and I was flat-out honest with her. She heeded my advice and stood by him because he was making a real and sincere effort with accountability. My heart soars tonight for my friend and her family!
Another friend of mine, however, is making some seriously bad choices right now. She has lived many years honoring God, making some hard choices that many people don’t even know exist, raising her children alone. All of those years, though, are going to be blown to pieces when her choices hit the fan. What is conceived must give birth, and it will not be pretty when it does. And my heart is very heavy; very heavy. She is blinded and cannot see the width and breadth of the consequences of her sin. Yes, sin is sin in the eyes of God, but the consequences of sin are not equal.
I understand how those kings led long lives honoring God only to fail in their old age. Life wears you down, sometimes; weakens you. You grow weary of always doing the right thing. And you relax. But the consequences of sin are not equal, and they stretch far beyond the one who commits the sin. It is not wrong to be weary. It is not wrong for thoughts to enter your mind. What one does when weary, and what one does with those thoughts, becomes either right or wrong.
When my time on this earth comes to an end, whenever that may be, may He find me faithful … and my kids and my husband and my future generations, too.