Quote of the Day

An anonymous commenter at Boundless offers this:

Yes, we sow and reap consequences of our sin, whatever it may be. I think we sit as judge when we think we know what the “reaping” will be for certain sins for certain people.

And then of course, the subtle attitude: if you sow purity you will reap marriage to a 6 foot 2 inch replica of a virginal David Beckham who has an incredible job .

Yep, that subtle attitude can be quite insidious, and, left unchecked, will lead you to miss good men when they come into your path.

And yes, that truth works for the men, too.

Is it Sexual Harassment?

The answers might surprise you, but don’t look up the answers until you’ve read all the scenarios. (HT: Susan Walsh)

Sexual harassment: Yes or No?

1. A young woman goes for an interview. It goes well, and as it winds down, the recruiter suggests that he would like to invite her back for a second round. Is she interested? If so, she should meet him at 8:00 that evening at a nearby strip club.

2. At the annual company Christmas party, a raffle is held, with all proceeds going to charity. Hundreds are in attendance. As the Senior VP prepares to announce the winner, he describes the grand prize as a weekend away with Ms. ___________, who is in attendance.

3. A middle-level manager supports a woman’s request to transfer to another geographic location. Shortly after she relocates, he visits that city on business and invites her to dinner. She accepts, and after the meal he drunkenly suggests that they proceed to his hotel room, because she “owes him a favor.”

4. A woman contributes a check to the group wedding present for someone in the office. The next day, the VP – Finance asks her to come into his office and close the door. He proceeds to hand her back her own check and ask for an explanation. She is confused. What’s the problem? The problem is that she has a joint checking account with the man she lives with. He had not realized she was living with someone, or in a relationship that was serious enough to include pooling resources. He states, “I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.” He is married and has two children.

5. At the start of a group meeting, the middle level manager running the meeting stumbles, losing his train of thought. He recovers by saying, “Sorry, I was distracted by _________’s tits in that blouse.”

6. A male is being transferred to the Singapore office, and his going away party falls on the same night as his close coworker’s fiance’s birthday. She decides to attend the party and meet her fiance for a late birthday dinner afterward. The honoree corners her at the party and tells her to admit that she feels something for him – it’s obvious because she made him a priority over her fiance.

7. A female entry-level manager counts among her subordinates a 30-something, Harley Davidson riding, artist who works as a computer operator to pay the bills. He asks her for a private meeting in her office. He enters, closes the door and sits down. He then proceeds to tell her that her body is perfect for nude modeling, and he would like to hire her to sit for him at his studio.

8. A summer intern is looking forward to a special gathering for interns on her boss’s roof deck. Unfortunately, she comes down with violent food poisoning after eating chicken salad in the company cafeteria. When she telephones the boss to cancel, he whines, “No! You have to come! You’re the one I did this for! I don’t want to even have it if you won’t be there.” Nonplussed, she apologizes. He follows up with, “You have to make this up to me. How about drinks next week?”

9. After a presentation to senior management re a potential acquisition candidate, drinks are suggested, and the very junior employee who did most of the research and prep work is included. She is flattered and agrees to join them. After a couple of drinks, a very senior woman executive says she needs to use the ladies’ room and asks the junior woman to accompany her. When they get inside the bathroom, the senior executive pulls up her skirt, revealing a naked vagina, and raising one eyebrow suggestively.

10. Two coworkers are chatting at a retirement party in a nice restaurant. They are flirting and the man mentions that his wine is very, very good. The woman flirtatiously asks for a sip. Instead of passing her the glass, he takes a sip, leans over, kisses her and drains the wine into her mouth.

Like I said, you will be surprised at the answers.

Consequences of Playing the Game

In this piece by Susan Walsh, we get the account of a college student–Samson–who has jumped head-first into the “hookup” culture. Within just north of a month, he has (a) lost his virginity while drunk, (b) “hooked up” with a gal at a party while drunk, (c) had sex with her a second time (this time while sober), (d) got “teased” by her, and (e) “hooked up” with another gal.

Samson, I’m gonna be more blunt here: If you don’t get your lower extremities under control, you’re likely to meet up with Delilah and get DESTROYED. (Don’t believe me? Go read the Biblical account. That’s what happened, but his problems didn’t start with Delilah. And you need not be a Christian to appreciate the disaster that ensued…)

Why do I mention this account? Samson has managed to go through his junior high and high school days without participating in the “hookup” culture. Whether he was a social recluse or a hard working student who had little social life, we don’t know. But this much we DO know: he was a virgin when he entered college. Unless he had some very profound social issues–and that does not appear to be the case–for him to make it that far without having sex was impressive.

Now, within a matter of weeks, he has embarked on a very dangerous path. I say that because when you play the game, the game changes you, not the other way around.

To play the “game”, you have to become someone who objectifies women, who looks at them as a potential piece of meat first, who thinks and schemes and says what needs to be said to get her to take her clothes off.

You can’t just pretend here, because having sex involves embracing that persona that it took for you to get to the act. This works both positively and negatively, too.

(1) This is why the most successful men in the Pick Up Artist (PUA) culture tend to be “bad” guys. Tucker Max, Roissy, even Roosh–I’m not meaning to pick on them–are fine examples of that.

(2) This is also why married Christians–who regularly attend church together–have significantly lower divorce rates than the national average, and, from the studies I’ve seen, are more sexually satisfied than other cohorts.

As for Samson, he is at a very important juncture. While the allure of easy sex is tempting, you always have to count the cost.

(1) No matter what you hear, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NO STRINGS ATTACHED SEX. There ALWAYS are strings attached, and this is because there is ALWAYS a price. It may not be measurable in dollars and cents; it may be a damage to your character that will fester and rear its ugly head later on in your life.

And don’t kid yourself: your character ALWAYS catches up with you. It may surface in your career; it may surface in your marriage; it may surface in your peripheral relationships; it may surface in all the above. But make no mistake: your character WILL catch up with you.

(2) While many commentators–including myself–have blogged on the effect that promiscuity has on women, it also wreaks havoc on the men. The dynamics are different, but they’re still serious.

Even if a guy manages to not get a gal pregnant, and manages not to contract a sexually-transmitted disease, promiscuity will damage his ability to bond with the opposite sex.

This may not rear its ugly head until his wife hits menopause and he starts having a midlife crisis. When those things happen, that marginal loss in ability to bond can lead to a catastrophic divorce, the roots of which began long before he asked her on their first date.

But Samson needs to get a grip on reality here. What he has embraced is a very destructive path. He is running the risk of marginally damaging his ability to attract a good gal, or to notice a really good gal when he has the chance. This is true irrespective of his religious persuasion or lack thereof.

If he is a Christian, he is sowing some VERY BAD seed, the produce of which is going to suck.

Thankful

Many people are listing what they are thankful for on facebook this month of Thanksgiving.

I am thankful for my husband and my kids, for our health and God’s continuous Protection and Provision, for friends.

But what I am most thankful for this year is that there is a God … a one, true real God …  that God is God … and that He chooses to be my God. This truth has been especially significant to me this year. I cannot imagine a world or life without God … or a god who was not God … or where there was not One, True God. And then this one and only True God chooses to love me and be my God – mind blowing.  He exists. He is One. He is real. He is Sovereign. He was and is and always will be. God.

I am thankful.

MSNBC is Now Reporting

facts that a teenage gal is not likely to hear at home, but have been reverberated here often: time is not on your side.

Most women aren’t taught — and don’t learn — basic facts about fertility and aging, says Finn, author of the e-book “The Baby Chase.” Instead, celeb moms the likes of Salma Hayek (a baby girl at 41), Marcia Cross (twins at 44) and Mariah Carey (twins at 41) make being an older mom look easy — and glamorous.

“It’s not that we’re stupid,” she says. “It’s that we’ve been misinformed.”

As proof, she points to a new survey conducted on behalf of RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association, and presented at the American Society of Reproductive Medicine’s recent annual meeting.

The poll of 1,000 women ages 25 to 35 who had talked to doctors about fertility found that participants could correctly answer seven out of 10 basic questions less than half the time. The Fertility IQ 2011 Survey found that women were wrong most often about how long it takes to get pregnant — and about how much fertility declines at various ages.

“We were not at all surprised,” says Barbara Collura, executive director of RESOLVE. “This is what we experience every day.”

Most women simply don’t realize that at 30, a healthy woman has about a 20 percent chance of conceiving and by the time she reaches 40, her odds drop to about 5 percent per month, Collura said.

Again, this bears repeating:

(1) No one is suggesting that women should necessarily forego education or careers;
(2) No one here is affixing blame on women for their predicaments.

All I am saying is parents need to be sober with their children and give them the information that they may use to make wise decisions.

If you aspire to marry and have children, it is better to think of this sooner rather than later. Your biological time clock begins ticking early, but–once you hit age 28–you’re in the 2-minute warning.

If you go to college, the key is choosing a path that allows flexibility: whatever you do, do it with little or no debt. If you choose a professional path–law, medicine==there are costs you need to consider. I’m not saying don’t do it; I’m just saying count the cost.

Who Do You Trust for Leadership? Part 1: Does ANYONE Get It?

That’s not a question to take lightly, given the recent exposure of significant failings of people long-considered as highly trustworthy. Up until ten days ago, even the most ardent Pitt fan would have conceded that Penn State coach Joe Paterno was an outstanding coach. He seemed to embody the best of Bobby Knight, only without Knight’s failings.

Unfortunately, the Jerry Sandusky scandal has exposed Paterno’s own failings. At best, he made an honest mistake that resulted in Sandusky’s continued abuses. At worst, he was knowingly complicit in a longtime coverup of child sex atrocities that were known in Penn State circles as far back as 1995. At best, he deserved termination and an unceremonious departure. At worst, he deserves a penalty larger than our justice system could ever provide.

Still, this post is not so much about Paterno or Sandusky or McQueary or any of the Penn State crew. This is about who you trust to provide leadership. Thomas L. Day, writing an op-ed for the Washington [Com]Post, suggests something I’ve long felt: you cannot look to our recent past generations for leadership in our emerging crises.

While there are small matters with his piece to which I would take some exception, those are minuscule. The larger issue here is that our past generations are overrated at best to downright morally bankrupt at worst. And when situations demand extraordinary action, the best of those generations–and even our generation–are going to come up lacking.

Let’s be honest, folks: Joe Paterno was the last person you would have expected to merely send a credible report of a former coach of his–sexually assaulting a child–up the food chain to his Athletic Director.

While his actions are not those of someone seeking to cover up an atrocity, he clearly failed to understand the gravity of the situation he was dealing with.

And that may be our biggest challenge right now. Before anyone can lead, he must understand the gravity of what he’s dealing with. That is not where leadership ends, but it must begin here.

Today, we have challenges as a nation. Those are materializing, or–more accurately–metastasizing. We have a government that is propping up an economy–inflated by multiple economic bubbles–with unsustainable levels of borrowing. Our ranks of citizens has sent a dual message to our government: we don’t like all the bailouts or deficit spending, but–DAMN IT–we want our entitlements! Medicare, Social Security, Medicaid, food stamps, unemployment…

My point is not about what you think of Democrats or Republicans but rather this: when this great house of cards comes crashing down–and trust me, it will–Americans will demand leadership.

But who are we going to trust? Where do we look for the answer? Does ANYONE get it?

The so-called “Greatest Generation” is more accurately-named the Overrated Generation.

The Baby Boomers are the Condom Generation: they gave us a false sense of security while we were being screwed.

Generation X–my generation–is the Deceived Generation: we rode the Baby Boom generation, expecting to gain prosperity, when in fact we were being sucked dry all along.

Generation Y is now the Bankrupt Generation: let’s face it, the end of the Ponzi is near.

Where are we going to look for our answers? Which generation can provide it?

And no, it’s not about one person trying to be a hero. Moses tried to be a hero and spent 40 years in exile before God called him to greatness. At age 80, he was a lot more humble about what lay before him. God instilled in him the moral courage to take action.

Still, after 40 years in the wilderness, Moses understood the gravity of the situation. And he finally understood the way out.

Today, do any of our “leaders” get it?

Thomas Day seems to answer in the negative. He points to Paterno as his last straw. Personally, I think Day was way too optimistic. I had lost faith long before Sanduskygate.

But where do we look? What qualities should we demand?

After all, recent history is littered with powerful, charismatic leaders who had a large degree of support from their people–and even abroad–and who all but destroyed their countries.

10-13

I just read this piece detailing the victims. I’ve not read everything out there because I haven’t had time … and have just skimmed some stuff. I did not realize these were young boys between the ages of 10 and 13! For some reason my mind was thinking college-age boys … not that that wouldn’t be bad. But, OH.MY.WORD!!!

And they actually let the guy out on ONLY $100,000. bail?!!!!!!! WTF???!!!!!!!

Questions for the Penn State Trustees

(1) Has the FBI been notified?

If this matter is as serious as the reports appear to be, then there is NO way that any internal investigation, or even an investigation by local or campus police, or even an investigation by the state police, can be trusted, as there are too many potential actors–across a variety of positions in and out of the university–who have a vested interest in covering their tracks.

It’s long past time to get the FBI in there.

(2) Why is Mike McQueary still on staff?

It appears, at this point, that former head coach Joe Paterno made one mistake: he failed to make one extra phone call–to the police–to report what someone told him that he witnessed. (On the other hand, if the corruption in the administration is as severe as it appears to have been, then that extra phone call would have been moot, as the campus police has reports on Sandusky going all the way back to 1998, and nothing was done about that.)

Having said that, McQueary is a former Penn State and NFL quarterback. While he was a “graduate assistant”, he was no wet teenager: he was a grown adult who (a) witnessed a sexual assault, (b) was in a position to intervene and stop the assault, (c) did not intervene to stop the assault, and (d) rather than go to authorities, went to his coach to report the incident.

He was the sole eyewitness to the assault, and–as such–was the most credible person to intervene. He neither intervened nor went to authorities.

At the very least, his resignation needs to be demanded.

(3) What makes you think that replacing Paterno with Tom Bradley will make the situation materially better?

If the corruption is as widespread as it appears to be, then the more prudent step would be to immediately disband the football program, dismiss all football players to finish their classes, fire every coach and administrator connected to the program, and keep the football program shut down until the investigation is complete and a complete airing of the facts is made public.

If the latest story about Sandusky has any truth to it, then the university–as you know it–is hosed.