What Do You Do With What Comes Next?

Amir’s post, Giving Immorality a Free Pass, raises some questions about how to relate to people who have chosen similar paths as the years go on. Something simple gets complex with time and circumstance.

For (a real) example, husband of Couple A and wife of Couple B have an affair, get caught, divorce their spouses, and get married. They have seven children between them – 3 in one family and 4 in the other. These two couples were best friends and actively involved in the same church. In fact, both the husband and wife of Couple B grew up in this church, and their parents and families are still members, including siblings who are also now married and have/having children of their own.

You have a child who is friends with one of the 7. Do you allow your child to continue playing with the child of the adulterous couple? The wife of couple A remarried a few years later and moved to a neighboring town 30 minutes away, so if you child is to play with one of her children, and you do not want to see the adulterous couple, you now have to drive into the city with traffic for your kids to see each other and play together.

Adulterous couple moves from original church to a church (from a First Baptist Church to a FBC, if it matters any) in a neighboring town and becomes actively involved. As a matter of fact, adulterer husband is even teaching adult Sunday School with the blessing of the church! The two towns are inter-mixed enough that people in the new church know what happened.

Not once did the adulterous couple repent. During the affair and the discovery, they were approached by many who advised them to break it off. They chose not to and went through with it. The offended husband spiraled, remarried once on the rebound, divorced again, and is still unbalanced and lost in space.  Both he and the offended wife had caught the adulterous couple in the buff in each other’s houses. The offended wife became a breath short of an alcoholic, remarried, and had another child with new husband (who didn’t have any children of his own).

Now it’s been probably 12 or so years. People have come and gone. The kids are all grown up and all but one graduated from High School. There’s a grandbaby or two mixed in there.

So you’re new to the community, join their church, and even join their Sunday School class. It doesn’t take long to figure out they’re a blended family, but the truth of what they did is a blur. What do you do?

Now your son is dating one of their daughter’s, and they are serious and talking marriage. You will be related to this twisted family … the Adulterous couple will become your son’s in-laws. How do you advise your son about his fiance’s parents and their choices and his future relationship with them?

You are working in the children’s area of the church, and you and she are asked to share a teaching role in one of the graded classes. What do you do?

Giving Immorality a Free Pass

I’ve blogged extensively about RL–our former pastor–abandoned his wife and daughter as he ran off with BW, his secretary.

The church didn’t put up with it; both were removed from their positions immediately, and–when they refused to repent–they were excommunicated.

What pisses me off? Not so much that they engaged in this gross immorality–although that is bad enough–but rather that so many of BW’s “friends” are giving her a free pass, even encouraging her in the endeavor.

When the scandal broke, RL deleted his Facebook account and BW kept a low profile, sticking to her MLM business. She lost a considerable amount of her business as many of her fellow church members–who bought from her–stopped buying. That was good.

Now, she has become quite brazen, posting a picture of herself and her beau on her Facebook profile.

The comments on the photo?

TR: I assume this is your “significant other”:) You two make a beautiful couple:)
BW: Thanks T and YES it is :)

TB: B have you moved?
BW: Hey T – yes we moved to Lexington in June. :)

SK: Finally – a face to the name! lol
BW: Yes ma’am! :)
KR: Ditto on T’s comment :-)
BW: Thanks K!

KJ: love your pic…
BW: Thanks K!

WP: So cute!!!
BW: Thanks W!

DH: Love that you’re out and about;))
ST: Cute! :-)
BW: Thanks D and S :)

LS: Nice looking fellow!! Be happy – sure looks like you are!!
BW: Thanks L, I sure think so ;) I’m VERY happy! Miss you friend!

Well, if BW can sleep comfortably at night knowing that she took PL’s husband–and LL’s daddy–away from them, then she is quite a deplorable excuse of a human being. I’ll give her credit where credit is due, though: at least she hasn’t tried to straddle the fence on this.

Some will ask, “What about RL?” I’d like to punch the crap out of him. When he preached, he often threw in lines about “husbands need to pastor your wives”, all while he put his hand on PL’s shoulder.

But these women who know BW and are so complimentary of the picture? Whatever they are smoking, it isn’t legal outside of California.

The fall of Bobby Petrino: a long time coming

As promised, I’m continuing with my posts on the Bobby Petrino scandal. This time, I’ll focus on the man himself.

Since his story has been beaten to death throughout the sports media, I won’t go into any great detail. However, as I see it, it’s yet another example of that cautionary saying: character matters.

Pat Forde published a great piece showing just what kind of a fellow Arkansas hired. Now, without further ado… Bobby Petrino’s Greatest Hits!

2003: Petrino is hired by Louisville from Auburn, where he had been offensive coordinator under Tommy Tuberville. However, Auburn decided Tuberville wasn’t winning enough for them, especially against Alabama, and started quietly looking for a new coach. Very quietly.

Enter Petrino. Auburn officials take a flight to a small airport across the river from Louisville, where Petrino meets them… while both teams’ seasons are still going on. And two days before Auburn’s biggest game of the season, the Iron Bowl against Alabama.

So, we have Petrino going behind the back of Tom Jurich (U of L athletic director) and Tuberville (his former boss). Not to mention Auburn going behind the back of Tuberville. But wait, it gets better. Petrino continues to deny that he had met with Auburn until two reporters for The Courier-Journal (Louisville’s daily paper), one of them Forde, present him with proof of the flight… and Auburn finally owns up to its role in the affair.

2004: You would think Petrino would have learned a lesson from this. But no… he met with Notre Dame officials during the season, at the same airport, about their coaching job. He also met with Florida and Ole Miss during the season.

At the end of the season, he pledged his loyalty to U of L, and signed a contract extension. The ink was barely dry before he went behind Jurich’s back yet again to interview with LSU. He then made a big show of withdrawing from consideration… after it was obvious LSU would hire Les Miles.

2005: Petrino says he has no interest in the NFL, but interviews with the Oakland Raiders. Do we see a pattern here?

2006: Petrino signs a 10-year contract with U of L, and insists on adding a $1 million buyout clause. Five months later, after one of the greatest seasons in the school’s football history, he leaves for the Atlanta Falcons.

2007: Petrino leaves the Falcons with three games left in the season without telling his players. He is announced as the new head coach at Arkansas the next day. Sure, his time in Atlanta was during the Michael Vick dogfighting scandal… but running out on a head coaching job during the season is very bad juju.

The pattern appears to be that of a person who’s out mainly for himself, no matter who he steps on along the way. Given that behavior, it should be no surprise that Petrino admitted to an extramarital affair—or that he was found to be communicating with at least one other woman. Lest we forget, both women are about the age of his oldest children.

I don’t have any personal animosity toward Petrino. I hope he can work out his issues, preferably away from the public eye. But, his fall from grace should be a warning to all of us—and a reminder that, to borrow a phrase from Amir, the Law of Sowing and Reaping shall not be up for repeal any time soon.

Dad’s With Custody

This is an interesting piece on Single Dad’s with Custody. According to this piece, Las Vegas has the highest number of single dad’s with custody. The depravity of man, or women, is very real, espcially in Las Vegas:

A 24-hour work environment with many night shifts and plenty of temptations lead to more women abusing drugs and alcohol, a high divorce rate, and more men demanding sole custody over their children.

It’s Not That Bad

Actually, this scandal is far worse than advertised.

(1) The Secret Service–as well as any of the military Special Operations groups involved–is hardly a group of chaste altar boys. Like any other government entity, these entities attract all types. For every Secret Service agent who could be Tim Tebow with an MP-5, there are at least 2 others who are closer to Roissy on the hedonist scale.

This is probably not the first time that Secret Service folks have gone whoremongering. It is the first time they got caught.

(2) Still, that this scandal spans the Secret Service, and at least two branches of the military–I’m willing to guess the Navy SEALs and Army Special Forces–shows that this is probably not an isolated matter. But even if it is, the potential for catastrophe is deep and wide.

(3) Three of the Secret Service agents involved are (were) members of the Counter-Sniper team. Anyone who says that none of the President’s personal security detail was involved, doesn’t get it.

The counter-snipers–in addition to being some of the top sharpshooters in the world–are integral to the development of the President’s security plans. They know when and where the President will be, as they are positioned so they can provide sniper cover for the President. They know security protocol; they can name names. If any of these guys flip–or otherwise get compromised–situations can get very ugly in a hurry.

And no, I’m not talking about the President’s upcoming Colombia visit, although that should be an area of concern.

Oh heavens no…I’m talking about stateside.

As much as I loathe President Obama, the last thing I would ever want to see is a would-be (or actual) assassin get to the President. In my lifetime, RFK was assassinated; President Ford escaped–TWICE–by the skin of his teeth (Had Squeaky Fromme ensured that her .45ACP was chambered, Ford would have been killed.); Reagan nearly died when John Hinckley, Jr. got close-in for a point-blank shot with a .22. Had Hinckley used a .45ACP, Reagan would have died.

Many folks forget that the Gun Control Act of 1968–which led to a VERY abusive local, state, and federal gun control culture–was a reaction to the assassinations of JFK, RFK, and MLK. The situation got so bad that a DEMOCRAT-CONTROLLED Congress and Senate passed the Firearm Owner Protection Act of 1986, and curtailed the extent to which the BATFE can harass citizens.

If Obama gets hit, the road to fascist Police State will expand from a two-lane road to a ten-lane superhighway lacking a speed limit.

Ergo, I want the Secret Service to do a fabulous job.

“Men Just Need to Get Over It!”

Ame is in an ongoing conversation with some ladies who are of the opinion that it is okay for a woman to “let herself go”, minding no attention to matters of appearance (weight in particular), and that “men should get over it and love them anyway.”

These ladies appear to be in huge denial, as–when Ame brought up the scientifically-established fact that men are more visual than women–they were entirely dismissive, and demanded a Biblical substantiation that their chosen path is less than Christian.

Before we go there, we have the standard disclaimers:

(1) I have no desire to pick on anyone who is heavyset due to reasons beyond their control.

(2) We do not suggest that being lean necessarily makes you more spiritual than someone who is rotund. That “beauty is fleeting” clause of Proverbs 31 is one of the most overlooked parts of the Bible.

(3) What I am saying here about the ladies also applies to the men. The only reason I devote less attention to them here is that it’s not men who are making the argument.

Now, back to the ladies…

First off, if these women are single, they had better be prepared to remain that way for a very long time. No self-respecting man is going to marry a woman who has that attitude.

And yes, this is an attitude issue. Irrespective of your views regarding weight, if someone (male or female) takes this approach toward appearances, the chances are very strong that that person is taking that approach–and will do so in the future–toward other aspects of life. If she’s that irresponsible about her appearance, then her appearance isn’t her only problem.

And yes, that sends her marriageability quotient heading south.

If those women are married, their poor husbands may be better-off living in the corners of their roofs. In fact, those women are exactly why the PUAs and the MGTOWs have given the middle finger salute to marriage.

Proper bodily stewardship–for husband and wife–has many benefits: parental, social, medical, and–yes!–sexual. If a woman (or man), is saying, “I don’t care about my appearance, and my husband (wife) needs to just get over it!” then she (he) has some very serious problems.

And this goes beyond the egalitarian vs. complementarian understanding of Ephesians 5. Even a semi-feminist egalitarian cannot justify these ladies’ attitudes. This is because the “mutual submission” command is, at minimum, a call to mutual accommodation.

While the husband is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, the wife is also commanded to respect her husband. It is not respecting of her toward him if she “lets herself go.”