It’s How Marriage Works

Got an email from a friend today. She wrote, “I hope the beginning of school has been uneventful this year.” HA! Me, too! Alas, yes, school has begun, but no, it has not been uneventful.

I had to take Youngest into her PCP today – her 2 day follow-up to her ER visit Tuesday night when she had an anaphylactic reaction to an OTC nose spray and her throat began closing. Was I calm? Enough to handle the situation well. This is just one of the “uneventful” events of this last week.

A lady in the office at the doc’s office and I got into a conversation about marriage. She lost her husband of 30 years 3 years ago. She said, “It was all horrible, but we were just really getting to know each other and to figure it all out.” She’s met another man recently, and they have a great relationship. Her kids tell her they wish their spouse was like him. She tells them that they don’t come perfect & they aren’t going to change, and with time, we not only figure that out, we come to value and appreciate it.

If I want him to accept me as I am, I need to accept him as he is. This seems, in general, to be a much more difficult concept for women to comprehend than men.

My husband met another old friend of mine today, for the first time, as they exchanged projects that I’m working on for her. She and I have kept up over the years, but until a couple weeks ago, we hadn’t seen each other face-to-face since my first marriage. She told my husband today that she had never seen me happy until now. He told her that he works to provide a safe environment for me to be myself and to be confident and safe in being myself. And I am. We ain’t perfect – very far from it. If we listed each others not-so-favorable-traits, probably no one would believe we married each other. But we choose to accept each other as we are. It’s how marriage works.

Lance is Finished

Well, it sure looks that way.

While the USADA is probably out on a witch hunt, keep in mind that it is probably less about Armstrong than it is about a sport that has been rife with cheating for decades.

Cleaning up the sport of cycling has been a very arduous task, and many riders have been punished, even stripped of major victories. If Armstrong had been cheating all along, it would behoove any anti-doping body to pursue the charges. To do otherwise would smack of favoritism.

That the USADA claims to have samples from his 1999 Tour that show results consistent with EPO use is no small charge. For them to make that charge–especially against the backlash they could expect for being wrong–is huge. That there are ten former teammates who were willing to testify against him is a big deal, even if some of them are probably doing it due to sour grapes issues.

Does all of this merit a lifetime ban, and a loss of all seven Tour victories? I don’t know. That seems a bit steep. I would think that, in order to strip all seven titles, one would need evidence of cheating in all seven. But the USADA didn’t ask for my opinion.

Personally, I have no axe to grind with Lance. If he was able to pass all those drug tests, then either (a) he was squeaky clean or (b) he was able to cheat better than anyone else in a sport full of cheaters at the time.

The lifetime ban is totally symbolic, as he is retired from his sport. That said, the governing U.S. body for triathlons–the USATA–has also banned him. That means no USATA-sanctioned triathlons (that includes Ironman events, both 70.3 and 140.6) for Lance.

While I would admit that Lance’s argument–that, strippage or not, everyone knows who won those Tour titles–could carry some weight, it still is a major blemish that he is no longer going to have recognition for having won any Tour championships.

The only winner in this: Greg LeMond.

Funny Story of the Day

Our friends at Fraters Libertas provide some insights on the narcissism of the Baby Boomers and Generation Y.

Here are some of my favorites…

The referenced article cites a 2010 Pew Research study “found that while baby boomers—generally born between 1946 and 1964—cited work ethic, respectfulness, and morals as their defining qualities… ”

FL’s response was classic: Yup. That’s what I think of when I think of boomers. Work ethic, respectfulness, and…(sorry it’s hard to type this without chortling)….morals. Yes, the generation that came of age in the Sixties and spawned the nihilistic hedonism of the Seventies and the decline of societal and cultural values that continues to this day is all about MORALS. Good one guys.

The same generation that celebrated the drug and screwfest known as Woodstock, rioted at campuses, and cheered for Ho Chi Minh…ranking themselves as respectful and moral? You gotta be freakin’ kidding me!

They clearly have an arrogated sense of their own virtue.

I’m a Gen-Xer myself. We are the doubly-screwed generation, and it is largely our own fault. We inherited the sins of the Boomers, and passed them on–in spades–to the Gen-Ys, who are now sticking it back to us.

Rather than renounce the idiocy of the previous generation and call out the so-called “Greatest Generation” for being way too permissive with the Boomers, we continued the cycle. Shame on us.

Here’s another one. Addressing the “milennials”, the Pew folks have this to say: “…millennials chose technology, music and pop culture, and liberal leanings—followed by superior intelligence and clothing as their defining qualities. Millennials are also likely to prioritize lifestyle over salary, and to foresee changing careers. ”

FL opines: Are the millennial kids smarter than your average bear? Sure they are, just ask them. I suppose this inflated sense of self shouldn’t be a surprise given that since birth the millenials have been told have everything they do is great and how special they are. When your grades are inflated, your sports competitions end with “everyone’s a winner” and trophies, awards, and certificates are presented for almost every conceivable mundane accomplishment, of course you’re going think that you’re wonderful. Your music sounds better. Your clothes look better. And damnit, you are smarter than everyone else.

FL is correct herem, as the milennials are grossly overrated. Right now, we have a huge need for developers who can design IT systems in Microsoft .NET. If you can design a database, create an application that interfaces with that database–given a set of specification–we can get you a job.


We have four universities within 50 miles, each of which puts out graduates with Computer Science degrees. Can any of them come into our organization and–given a set of specs–design a system? Nope. We’ve had interns before; they were disasters.

So those excellent grades they are pulling in C programming and related classes? It’s not worth a roll of used toilet paper.

Most of our candidates are from India.

Anyone Surprised at This?

I was reading this article at Fox News, regarding monogamy and infidelity. I must admit, in spite of my own cynicism, that I found the infidelity rates surprising at first glance.

OTOH, there are some caveats:

(1) Only 56% of the couples surveyed were married. Are we really sure that this is a good benchmark against which to measure infidelity?

(2) Still, I did find the following statement somewhat surprising:

In fact, married survey participants had significantly more negative attitudes toward monogamy than participants who were seriously dating one person. Is a growing disenchantment with monogamy inevitable?

It would be interesting to see how conservative evangelicals would respond to this. While–at just south of three years of marriage–my attitude would be quite positive, I’ll admit: I’m a newbie.

At the same time, the Biblical view of marriage has shaped my whole approach to it, as well as MrsLarijani’s. While married life has hardly been a cakewalk, I can honestly say it’s been pretty darn good. I’ve enjoyed it more than single life, and not simply on account of the marriage bed (although I have no complaints about that!)

But if I were a single and reading that article, it would not be particularly encouraging. If I’m single–and see that kind of rampant infidelity and general disenchantment toward marriage and monogamy–then why get married?

On balance, this is marginal incentive for singles not to marry.

Akin Stepped in It

Missouri Republican senatorial candidate Todd Akin–addressing the abortion issue–demonstrated complete lunacy.

Well you know, people always want to try to make that as one of those things, well how do you, how do you slice this particularly tough sort of ethical question. First of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.

The fist part of his statement is true: pregnancy resulting from rape is rare. Why? I’m not completely sure, but here’s my take on it.

Pregnancy from sex in general is rare; pregnancy from rape is no more rare than pregnancy from consensual intercourse. It’s just that rape–being less frequent than consensual sex–seems to lead to pregnancy less often than consensual sex.

In order for pregnancy to happen, timing is everything. For it to happen from rape, then the rape has to occur within the same menstrual parameters as any other sex act that could lead to pregnancy.

As for his “legitimate rape” comment, I have no idea what he was smoking. While it is true that women have been known to lie about rape, this would not be a good time to conflate that issue. This is because, rape or not, pregnancy occurs from sex.

How should Akin have answered that question? He should have said something to the following effect:

When you are dealing with the issue of rape, there is no pretty way to resolve this issue. The woman has had something taken from her that we–as a society–can never replace, even if we skin the rapist alive. I can certainly understand why a woman would not want to carry this child that was conceived in such a violent, senseless act.

At the same time, we need to ask ourselves what compassion requires here. As much as I would otherwise be inclined to support abortion in such cases, that would be a disservice to the child in utero, as he or she does not deserve to die any more than the mother deserved to be raped.

As a society, we must reach out as best as we can to help these women; we must also, as a society, welcome these children who are also faultless. We must work toward a resolution here that honors the humanity of everyone involved.

Had Akin said that, he would have caught some heat from the abortophiles while articulating a strong case for what real compassionate conservatism looks like. It would not have helped him with liberals, but–done with resolve–would have made a compelling case for his leadership in a body that is lacking in that department.

Instead, Akin has effectively handed re-election to Sen. Claire McCaskill (R-MO).

So You Wanna Be an Army Ranger?

Professor Hale–a West Point grad and a graduate of Army Ranger School–has an excellent set of posts on the experience.

And yes, he should write a book about it.

Here they are:

Ranger School, Chapter 1

Ranger School, Chapter 2

Ranger School Chapter 3: Who’s Your Buddy

Ranger School, Chapter 4: Food

Ranger School, Chapter 5: Pain

Ranger School, Chapter 6: People

Ranger School, Chapter 6 (Addendum)

Ranger School, Chapter 7: Sleep

Ranger School, Chapter 8: Supplies

Another One

The law in Texas says teachers cannot have sex with their students. Period. That’s pretty simple.

I’m very sorry she has three kids who need her, but she should have thought about that when she was entertaining her students in her own home.

People … you do not get a “Get Out of Jail Free” card simply because you have kids. Because you have kids should have been reason enough to choose NOT to do the things that can get you there to begin with.


I don’t know how many ways one can say “Ewwww” … but this is gross.

As my husband says … God made everything that comes out the back end to stink because He doesn’t want us doing anything else with it.

I guess they’re too high to care that the drugs they’re using were … ugh … GROSS!!!