First, a disclaimer. I am not going to excuse what Josh Duggar did when he was a 14. He engaged in sexual conduct that, even if consensual, was wrong by any Biblical standard. Moreover, he violated the bodies of multiple people, including at least four of his sisters. Actions have consequences, and what he did was a very big deal. While he faced the music and paid his debt to society, he has learned the same lesson that King David learned: sexual sin is the gift that keeps on giving. We would all do well to remember the “my sin is ever before me” clause in Psalm 51.

Having said that, knowing only what we know, would it be reasonable to classify Josh Dugger as a threat to society? Not from what we know.

It would be fair, in his circle of accountability, to question him significantly about who he is today. Has he cheated on his wife? Does he use pornography? What changed in his conduct after his scrapes at age 14? Has he learned to control his passions in a way befitting a Christian gentleman?

About ten years ago, I worked in an Awana chapter at a very large church in Louisville. Before I was cleared to work in Awana, I was subjected to a substantial questionnaire about a plethora of moral, ethical, theological issues, as well as sexual conduct past and present. (On top of that, they ran a background check on me.) Even in that interrogatory they delineated between sexual experience prior to age 15 and after.

Fact is, teenagers–including teenage girls–are known to experiment with themselves (and others) at that stage in their lives.

No, there is no defending that conduct.

Yes, parents need to communicate with their kids from an early age, admonishing them succinctly–both the what and the why–about respecting other peoples’ bodies. It is best to communicate such matters before the hormones of adolescence go into full afterburner. Teaching them that they must learn to master their passions–while pointing out that there are some places you must never, ever go–is a parental imperative.

Still, what do we do about Josh Duggar?

First of all, if we rake him over the coals, then we must do the same to roughly half the males in his age cohort. Most guys I know have been on the giving–or receiving end–of someone else’s sexual experimentation. From what I know of the ladies, there are more dark secrets among them–and yes, they have their share of both victims and culprits, too–than anyone wants to admit.

I guess we need to resolve what constitutes a sexual predator.

Today, we are tagging, as a felony sex offender, a 16-year-old boy who has otherwise consensual sex with his 14-year-old girlfriend. Yes, I understand the legal rationale around “consent”, but let’s be honest here: however wrong the boy is–and he is wrong–tagging him as a felon is excessive.

But that’s not the case with Josh Duggar: what Duggar did at age 14 is very problematic in that he was touching his sisters inappropriately. If he were ten years old, that would have been one thing, but he was 14. By that point, he should have known better. That he had not learned proper boundaries at that point is problematic.

At the same time, he faced the music and had his “come to Jesus” moment with appropriate authorities. It is my hope that he learned his valuable lessons and has, as far as it depends on him, made amends with those whom he harmed.

Conservatives would be quick to point out that the leak of this story came from elements that appear to be aimed at smearing the Family Research Council–which has been a stalwart defender of historical marriage, opposing its redefinition–and that, had Duggar not been on staff at the FRC that this story would never have seen the light of day. There is probably some truth to that argument.

Even then, the lesson is poignant here: as far as this earth is concerned, the effect of sexual sin never really goes away.

This is not to shame anyone, as most of us–even those who were virgins on their wedding nights–have some baggage in that department. Still, even as God forgives our sins and removes them “as far as the east is from the west”, the baggage remains.

I hope the Josh Duggar fracas is a teachable moment in Christian households.