(1) Atheists are either stupid or crazy. Anyone who appreciates the athleticism of birds and cats–like me–and does not believe in a kick-ass intelligence behind all of this, has a few screws loose.
(2) Christmas sucks. I hate it when my dad takes off and goes to Philly for a couple days. He gives great catnip treats, though!
(3) I’d like to shit on the grave of Bruce Pardot. So would my dad, but he doesn’t want to go to California.
(4) Ann Coulter is HOT!
(5) I would be a far better President than McCain or Obama. I’m better looking, too. If I get elected in 2012, does Amir get to be the First Dad?
(6) I’ve got the coolest dad.
(7) The Republican Party is a bunch of traitors. Bush is a traitor for embracing socialism. My dad might end up working till age 100 to pay for all these damn bailouts.
(8) My sister–Sneaky–has more brains than Obama.
(9) Child molesters have three big enemies: me, Amir, and Pilgrim. Amir has two uncles–Black and Decker–to whom he would like to introduce a few of these predators. Pilgrim prefers a good old fashioned knife. I hope they save some work for me…
(10) I’m so glad Shanahan got fired at Denver. he’s in the middle of building an enormous house there–we’re talking tens of millions of dollars. His cash flow just went to crap!