Emasculation in Action

Dr. Mike S. Adams–criminology professor at UNC-Wilmington–provides this account.

The other day I was sitting at a deli having some breakfast and drinking a cup of coffee. A man was walking out of the deli with his kids when his son, who looked to be about three years old, asked his dad whether they were going to the park. The dad said “no” because, apparently, they had somewhere else to go. That’s when the boy turned and starting swinging his arms striking his father repeatedly around the groin area.

What happened next also annoyed me. The father leaned down and, in a gentle voice, began to explain why the child’s actions were inappropriate. The father wasn’t at all successful. The kid just kept swinging away and making a scene. The father patiently pleaded with his son “Please stop that, you’re hurting daddy.”

The child is showing disrespect for his father, because his father has failed to teach him respect. Teaching such things requires discipline, which is often very unpleasant.

As Solomon once said, parents who fail to do this, literally hate their children.

One thing I hate is when a parent–while administering a spanking–says, “this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.”

Grow some rocks, ladies and gentlemen.

FutureMrsLarijani and I know a family–Charlie Delta Squared…I stay with them when I visit her neck of the woods–who are pretty diligent in the administration of corporal punishment. They don’t get bent out of shape. Dad almost never raises his voice. But he–and his wife–will not hesitate to tan some hides.

I would bet money that we will not see any of the kids punching their dad in the balls.

This is because their dad actually has a pair.

11 thoughts on “Emasculation in Action

  1. i had to be VERY careful in public when my girls were itty-bitty … my Youngest would start screaming, “You’re not going to spank me again? Please don’t spank me again!”

    Youngest, as you know, has special needs (although a good thump on the rump worked sometimes, i had to be more creative with her)

    still … these days, some bitty woman or man would call cps on you if they even think you’re spanking (abusing) your child, and report whatever the heck they please. the gov’t is not your friend.

    i agree with your conclusions from the info given in this picture. but after having a special needs daughter who doesn’t “look” special needs all the time, i’ve learned to allow a great measure of forgiveness till i know the whole story.

    another thought – i had to remove ‘spankings’ from the home as a form of discipline b/c my ex, to whom i was still married when they were this age, abused it on my girls.

    anyway … just saying … i’d rather have the ‘full picture’ before i offer a judgement. (that the kid was hitting his dad in the balls was probably not doing so b/c he was aiming for them but b/c that’s the height of a kid his age)

    oh, and one last thought – in my own personal experience and that of many of my friends, age three is the age from hell.

  2. @Ame
    While one would have to be careful in public, it is also true that–if the kid knows he will get the mother of all spankings when he gets home–he will be better-behaved in public.

    If a kid is taking swings at his dad like that in public, it is more than likely because he has had no discipline in private.

    Ergo, dad has no “privates”.

  3. Amir – ummm … yes, i can see your point, and i would have whole-heartedly agreed with you before i had kids. but now that i’ve gone through what i have (and at age three she was not diagnosed, neither could i find anyone to agree with me when she was that age), i just can’t make such a blanket statement.

    true – parents are more lax in discipline these days.

    false – you can assume that every public display by both parent and child is evidence of lack of proper discipline in the home.

    ***

    i would even go so far as to compare it to people making the gross assumption that if a man is over 40 and never-been-married, then he must be gay or there’s something terribly wrong with him.

    i really do know that from where you are, from your pov right now, this seems a great exaggeration to compare the two … i was married 11 years b4 i had kids and made the same, exact statements over and over and over. i had to eat every one of those words … and i’m a great mom who expects my children to behave or they have uncomfortable circumstances.

    also, from where you are, it is also probably very difficult to believe that some children do not respond well to thumps on the rump. i’m not saying that’s the majority, but i am saying there are some for whom it matters not, and parents must be much more creative.

    to say there is one form of discipline for all children is equivalent to saying there is one solution for all single people out there.

  4. “Charlie Delta. . .

    I would bet money that we will not see any of the kids punching their dad in the balls.

    This is because their dad actually has a pair.”

    It would not be a good day in that house if that were to occur. I’m sure I would be able to hear a great wailing and gnashing of teeth from my apartment.

    Which reminds me, are you going to remember to pack your cup this weekend? 😉

  5. @Ame
    This really is a matter of basic respect. We’re not talking about a kid being rowdy. We’re talking about a kid taking swings at his dad. This is a whole different ballgame.

    There are some things that only happen once, if at all.

    I was a very difficult kid in my own right. But I knew where the line was.

    There was one time when my dad threw me into a pool. I was pissed, and came out swinging. In public.

    Let’s just say it didn’t happen a second time.

    And the first stepmother? If I talked back, I got my ass worn out. It was that simple.

    Teachers usually found me VERY difficult, until we had that first parent-teacher meeting. Stepmom straightened my ass out. Or…shall I say…kicked my ass. She was even tougher than my dad when it came to discipline. Being raised in a Catholic orphanage, what she dished out was miniscule compared to what she received.

    She’s 4-10 and 68 years old, but I still would not want to piss her off today.

  6. @Ame
    This is not to say that my parents were abusive, although CPS would have ripped them a new one–they believe that all spanking is “child abuse”–but they were stern when it came to certain matters.

    Smarting off and backtalk was bad juju.

    Taking a swing at mom or dad was VERY BAD juju.

  7. Part of the problem in my opinion, is that proper discipline was not established when the child was very young. I’ve even read crap from Dr. Dobson suggesting that disciplining a child younger than two is wrong. Bull Shit When our children were rebellious even as young as 9 months, they got a swift swat on the seat of knowledge. Very rarely did I have to spank any of the four children, because by the time they were at the common age of acting out, “terrible two’s” or three year olds, they already knew the consequences of crossing the hand of correction. All I had to do was look at them with a particular expression and the improper behavior ceased, because they knew that I was not buying their act, and I would respond in a manner which they would not soon forget.

    According to my wife, one of the four tried the tantrum stunt one time. And after the wife had finished exacting just reward, none of the others ever tried that particular behavior.

    Now at 14, 14, 12 and 9 I have not administered any corporal punishment in several years. And we are regularly complimented on our well mannered children.

  8. In my circle, it is common knowledge that if a child doesn’t receive one . . . how did Farmer Tom phrase it . . . “just reward” by 18 months, something is wrong. (This could be a developmental problem, parental problem, or a combination.)

  9. @farmer Tom
    All I had to do was look at them with a particular expression . . .
    I am thinking your size was of great asset to you. Amir & I will probably have to administer “just rewards” more often because the natural intimidation factor isn’t there.

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