Adam noted that Debbie is republishing her book. I went and listened to the interview.
One thing that’s really tough about Debbie is there is a lot she says that Amir & I would agree with: she blames the church & parents for perpetuating delayed singleness.
Where we diverge: hermeneutics & the role of females in the problem.
A few things of note from the interview:
“(If not for the fall) The Church . . . would have never existed”
Well, based on Scripture this is completely false. Matthew 18: 19,20: “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”
On top of that, there is the fact that Adam had perfect fellowship with God before Eve.
The Church would have existed, just in a smaller form.
“Marriage and childbearing have always been a part of God’s perfect will. In the Garden that is what he ordained before the fall ever happened. “
I went back and read Genesis 1 and 2. There is no evidence of children before the fall. If there was, that would make a childless couple sinful. Childbirth was actually a curse of the fall. Also, child bearing was instituted in order to bring about the Savior.
Despite her embarrassing foundational conclusions, she goes on to make some good points:
(1) One what the church does for perpetuating singleness: “We’re going to look for isolated verses in Scripture to justify this aboriginal behavior pattern.”
This is true. That was one wall I ran up against again and again in my single years. I was told no small number of times that singleness is a wonderful thing because Paul was single. The libido was completely ignored. I was supposed to pretend that I don’t have one.
As a rule of thumb: if you have libido, you aren’t called to a lifetime of celibacy.
(2) The following is a mixed bag. Overall, yes it’s true. However, she’s committing the same sin of singling out men:
“We’re telling young men, ‘It’s OK to be single as long as you build a Habitat house for a woman you don’t know’. . .of course he’s going to choose the path of least resistance”
(3) In response to asking “What’s the first step?”
“The first step has to begin with the families”
“You look at the wisdom (in Proverbs that) the mother gives (her son). . . she does a comparison and contrast. She never once tells her son ‘Well, don’t rush into marriage. Put it off indefinitely’ . . . No, she tells her son ‘Here’s the characteristics of the good one. Here’s the characteristics of the bad. Choose wisely.’ “
This is a good summary of the conversations that Amir & I have had about child-rearing. We’re going to be making a concerted effort to encourage our children to marry early.
The rest of the interview was actually pretty decent. She made good points about not taking out loans, getting a needless degree and using your college years to find a spouse.
Debbie Maken is a mixed bag. Her foundational reasons for her ultimate conclusions are shaky at best. Yet, her conclusions are decent.
She should be warned, though, she needs to stop singling out men. It’s going to bite her, badly. If she isn’t putting equal heat on the woman, she isn’t doing the problem justice.