Stolen Chunks of Life

There are so many things about divorce that rob us of life we could be living if we didn’t have to deal with them. Unfortunately, I cannot be more specific right now, although when my brain de-fries some, I will be able to come up with some publishable examples.

There are some who think divorce is the answer. Divorce is never an answer. Sometimes it is the necessary of two evils, but it is never the answer. In reality, it is the creator of many a problem that continue for years and years.

I think, from time-to-time, how much different parts of the divorce have taken chunks away from me … chunks which could have been better invested into my kids or living life rather than dealing with “stuff.” And it saddens me. It is more difficult not to let my thoughts go there because simply knowing families who have not divorced, who have been able to live without the trauma and wounds and necessary healing, presents a continuous picture of what could-have-been. And if it were just me, it would be much easier to digest. But it is not. It’s my kids’ lives, too.

This has been one of those weeks when divorce things have robbed me of valuable time. They were necessary, but it still saddens me. And tires me.

Also this week my special needs daughter’s evaluation results came back, and she was given another diagnosis. I believe it is accurate and have confidence in those who performed the evaluation. It will affect much of the process of how things are done for her in the school system. It’s something else I need to learn more about and study how it integrates with her other diagnoses. She¬†begins Middle School in the fall, and we’re preparing for that … we being her dad and myself as well as the elementary school and the middle school. It’s an enormous amount of work.

My Oldest has had two choral performances this week and has a choral competition tomorrow.

Somehow in the middle of all this, I was able to get everything necessary done. Nothing extra, but the necessary stuff. I’ve given into moments when I’ve wondered how much more I could have accomplished had I not been required to invest so much time and energy and thought into the divorce stuff. But now I need to leave those behind. The week is almost done. Tomorrow is a new day.

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