Ame is in an ongoing conversation with some ladies who are of the opinion that it is okay for a woman to “let herself go”, minding no attention to matters of appearance (weight in particular), and that “men should get over it and love them anyway.”
These ladies appear to be in huge denial, as–when Ame brought up the scientifically-established fact that men are more visual than women–they were entirely dismissive, and demanded a Biblical substantiation that their chosen path is less than Christian.
Before we go there, we have the standard disclaimers:
(1) I have no desire to pick on anyone who is heavyset due to reasons beyond their control.
(2) We do not suggest that being lean necessarily makes you more spiritual than someone who is rotund. That “beauty is fleeting” clause of Proverbs 31 is one of the most overlooked parts of the Bible.
(3) What I am saying here about the ladies also applies to the men. The only reason I devote less attention to them here is that it’s not men who are making the argument.
Now, back to the ladies…
First off, if these women are single, they had better be prepared to remain that way for a very long time. No self-respecting man is going to marry a woman who has that attitude.
And yes, this is an attitude issue. Irrespective of your views regarding weight, if someone (male or female) takes this approach toward appearances, the chances are very strong that that person is taking that approach–and will do so in the future–toward other aspects of life. If she’s that irresponsible about her appearance, then her appearance isn’t her only problem.
And yes, that sends her marriageability quotient heading south.
If those women are married, their poor husbands may be better-off living in the corners of their roofs. In fact, those women are exactly why the PUAs and the MGTOWs have given the middle finger salute to marriage.
Proper bodily stewardship–for husband and wife–has many benefits: parental, social, medical, and–yes!–sexual. If a woman (or man), is saying, “I don’t care about my appearance, and my husband (wife) needs to just get over it!” then she (he) has some very serious problems.
And this goes beyond the egalitarian vs. complementarian understanding of Ephesians 5. Even a semi-feminist egalitarian cannot justify these ladies’ attitudes. This is because the “mutual submission” command is, at minimum, a call to mutual accommodation.
While the husband is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, the wife is also commanded to respect her husband. It is not respecting of her toward him if she “lets herself go.”