Recently a young man said of his wife, “I make a lot of money [meaning they can afford nice clothes and make up], but she doesn’t take care of herself anymore. She doesn’t wear makeup when she goes out, she doesn’t wear nice clothes; she doesn’t even try to look nice. She’s even gaining some weight. It’s disappointing.”
We’ve talked about this often out here. Yes, they have some young children, but they also have enough money for her to buy nice clothes and good make up and to hire a baby sitter. He feels like his wife has stopped caring about herself and her appearance, and it’s bothering him.
I found it interesting that the weight, though a point of note, was not as important as her overall lack of interest in caring for herself. It bothers him that she doesn’t dress nice for dates. I would speculate that, if she did continue to care about her appearance even though she was gaining a few pounds, he would probably not mind. She’s a career mom with a full schedule. Men are understanding.Is it okay to run to the store without make up and wearing sweats? Sure. And if your husband doesn’t care for make up, then don’t wear it (there are some men who truly prefer the natural look without make up). But if he likes it when you get dressed for him, then do it.
This isn’t rocket science, though we have a Rocket Scientist in the house who would be glad to pitch in here. It’s basic common sense. It’s even innate – we’re born knowing that girls/women like being attractive and boys/men like girls/women who look nice. I remember when my Oldest was in kindergarten that a mom of a little boy in her class noticed her pretty red sweater she wore one day … so much so that he told his mom about it. I’ve also heard mom’s of boys say that their little boy often says blonds are pretty or brunettes, etc … they know what they like.
We aren’t perfect, and most men are reasonable. Do the best you can with what you’ve got under the circumstances you’re in right now. Really, it’s that simple. If married, know your man and what he likes, and choose to show respect toward him by doing the things you know he likes. My husband likes long hair, so I keep my hair long. My husband loves it when I get all “Dolled Up” for him, so I do, especially when we go out.
If you are single, it is good to know that, in general, men like a pretty appearance – long hair, soft makeup, honest and sincere and warm eyes which reflect an honest and sincere and warm heart, and feminine dress. Style is personal, and men are attracted to different styles. Don’t try to please the masses; be yourself. Be true to your unique personality and style. These aren’t rules, and they’re not stuck in concrete. They’re general.
I have one daughter who is a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl, but she’s not sloppy, and she’s very pretty. My other daughter is all girly-girl and frills and lace and would rather wear a dress than anything else. When of dating age, my one daughter would be most comfortable in nice jeans and a nice shirt and simple hair (and decide in about ten minutes what to wear) while my other daughter will probably wear a dress and heels and fix her hair and make up a bit fancy (and spend three hours trying to figure out exactly what to wear).
Appearances are important to a man. That’s not bad at all. Appearances are also important to women – many men will report that their wife changes their wardrobe after they’re married – it’s more two-sided that we sometimes choose to believe.
We live in a fast-paced world. Take the time to be the best you that you can be. And if/when married, do the little things your spouse loves. They’re worth it.