It’s How Marriage Works
Got an email from a friend today. She wrote, “I hope the beginning of school has been uneventful this year.” HA! Me, too! Alas, yes, school has begun, but no, it has not been uneventful.
I had to take Youngest into her PCP today – her 2 day follow-up to her ER visit Tuesday night when she had an anaphylactic reaction to an OTC nose spray and her throat began closing. Was I calm? Enough to handle the situation well. This is just one of the “uneventful” events of this last week.
A lady in the office at the doc’s office and I got into a conversation about marriage. She lost her husband of 30 years 3 years ago. She said, “It was all horrible, but we were just really getting to know each other and to figure it all out.” She’s met another man recently, and they have a great relationship. Her kids tell her they wish their spouse was like him. She tells them that they don’t come perfect & they aren’t going to change, and with time, we not only figure that out, we come to value and appreciate it.
If I want him to accept me as I am, I need to accept him as he is. This seems, in general, to be a much more difficult concept for women to comprehend than men.
My husband met another old friend of mine today, for the first time, as they exchanged projects that I’m working on for her. She and I have kept up over the years, but until a couple weeks ago, we hadn’t seen each other face-to-face since my first marriage. She told my husband today that she had never seen me happy until now. He told her that he works to provide a safe environment for me to be myself and to be confident and safe in being myself. And I am. We ain’t perfect – very far from it. If we listed each others not-so-favorable-traits, probably no one would believe we married each other. But we choose to accept each other as we are. It’s how marriage works.