Why Is It So Hard to Leave Him?

Sandra Turton has written a piece about why it is hard for women to end a relationship with a man whom they know is not right.

While I don’t believe she is articulating the entirety of the dilemma, I disagree with Savvy in this respect: Turton is absolutely correct that sexual sin does play a large part of it.

Savvy is correct in that sex isn’t the whole reason, but sex isn’t irrelevant in this disucssion and is in fact a large part of the reason.

I say this for two reasons:

(1) Sex is not merely a physical act that is pleasurable. From a theological standpoint, the act of sex involves two people becoming “one flesh.” Biochemically, we know that the act of sex involves release of chemicals that contribute to the bonding of the people involved. (And yes, that applies even in cases where the sex can be painful.)

(2) I’ve seen many Christian women who–realizing that their premarital sexual relationships were wrong–refuse to break it off because they felt they didn’t deserve better. They would, in some cases, go on to marry these creeps, and end up in abusive marriages, then end up divorced.

Ultimately, if you are in a crappy relationship, sexual bonding–if you are indeed having sex–makes breaking it off more difficult. For many women (and even men), breaking that off is EXTREMELY difficult. No matter how well you explain the Biblical and practical truths.

That’s not to say that bad non-sexual relationships are easy to break off–they can be difficult in their own way–but Turton is correct: sex adds an order of magnitude to the dilemma.

2 thoughts on “Why Is It So Hard to Leave Him?

  1. It is likewise hard to emotionally disengage when you have not committed sexual sin; but your partner has and has gone away. OT, but responsive in some way to what you just said.

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