One of the things about being a parent is continually deciding what is age-appropriate for your child and what is not. I think there are some things that can be clearly defined, but most of the time I think it’s more child-specific.
Though my Youngest daughter is really not ready to hear such things, I told my Oldest daughter this morning about the tragedy in Ft. Hood yesterday. We don’t watch the news in our house; I hate the news. And I don’t want my girls watching that crap everyday.
Normally I don’t tell my girls anything about the really evil things … like school shootings, mall shootings, etc. They don’t need to wake up everyday afraid to live, and their brains just aren’t fully developed yet.
But she’s in Middle School, and I know they’ll be talking about it in Middle School, so I wanted her to hear it from me first. I told her that I don’t know how they’ll spin it, but the bottom line is this guy flipped out b/c he didn’t want to fulfil his commitment to his country … and took the lives of a dozen people and injured many more … and he was wrong.
Good explanation. Maybe still too young. I tend to believe that kids take seriously things their parents tell them more than what they casually hear on the news. To them, news is just another kind of entertainment (the kind thier parents like), but when mommy talks about something to them, now it is personal. I would be quite astonished to find middle school kids have any interest in this story at all.
PH – it was a toss whether to tell her or not. i try to tell my girls things like this in very separated, matter-of-fact, he-was-an-idiot, kinda ways.
the kids may or may not talk about it, but i’m sure a lot have heard about it b/c they watch stuff like CSI on tv.
also, her world geography teacher would be very inclined to bring it up … i’m not personally very fond of her WG teacher, so i wanted to give the mommy-version b4 her teacher gave her (imo, very feminized) version.
i may not have needed to tell her, or i may have – i’ll find out this afternoon.
i did tell her that i did not share stuff like this with her in elementary school b/c she was too young and the teachers would not have brought it up there, so she was not to tell her sister (which she will adhere to or loose some pretty steep privaleges). she agreed with me that her WG teacher would likely bring it up.
on the news/entertainment side, my girls are both VERY influenced by the *emotion* and the *visual pictures* they put into stories. if i can give the information w/out the visual pics and with the right amt and proper emotion, then they usually handle it better.
also, my Oldest does NOT like to be told something different than what she’s already heard … read, she does not like to be wrong. so if her teacher, or someone else tells her something, and then she hears something different from me, she *feels* like i’m telling her she’s wrong. so if she hears it from me, first, then it’s the teacher, or whoever, who is wrong … if that makes any sense.
said World Geography teacher DID bring up the Ft Hood shootings in class.
Daughter: “She said the guy was wacko, and she said everyone’s making a big deal about him being Muslum.”
Mom (Me): “I knew they were going to do that. That’s why I wanted to talk to you about it this morning.”
Daughter: “How did you know, Mom?”
Mom (Me): “Because anytime something like this happens, they want to know two things: 1. what is their religion, and 2. what is their education. It wouldn’t matter if he was Baptist, Christian, Catholic, whatever, they want to know it. The reason they want to know this is because you cannot separate who you are from what you believe.”
Daughter: “Du-uh.”
Mom (Me): “I know, but there are people who don’t know that. It is significant that he is Muslum because it’s what he believes and therefore it’s who he is.”
Daughter: “But that doesn’t mean he’s bad. I mean, I have a good friend who’s Muslum! She’s not wacko!”
Mom (Me): “No she’s not. Not all Muslum’s are wacko. But there are some who use their religion to justify their wrong behavior.”
i went into how ‘christians’ have killed abortionists in the name of their religion and how the media blows that up. i told her that people can take things from their religion and use it to justify themselves. i told her we don’t know if this guy did that (or if they do now, i’m not yet caught up), but it is significant what he believes.
we also discussed how i would know they would talk about this in school.
Mom (Me): “Because public schools are government schools, and therefore they have a liberal slant. Just because they teach it to you doesn’t mean it is true or right. It’s my job to give you the truth, especially in light of what you are taught.”
Daughter: “Oh-oh … ”
Mom (Me): “Remember, the government is not your friend ..”
Daughter: “Duh!”
Mom (Me): “And public schools are government schools, so public schools are not your friend.”
Daughter: “Does this mean I get to be homeschooled?!!!”
Mom (Me): “Nope!” (this is a decision her father made and had it put in a legal document signed by the court; i have no flexibility here. but i do have the ability and responsibility to teach her the truth at home)